Praise Effort — not Talent

That’s a No No! 

You know you’re not supposed to tell children they are smart!? I think I knew that, but I’ve missed the mark numerous times. In short, tell someone they’re smart and they’ll be afraid to disappoint you, leading them to stop challenging themselves; tell them you are amazed by their effort and you teach them to never quit, take on new challenges and be resilient.

Parents, Teachers and Coaches should all understand the importance of praising effort as opposed to talent.  Most people may say they know that, but knowing it, practicing it, living it and doing it well are very different.

I was recently reading Bounce by Matthew Syed and he references some groundbreaking research performed by Carol Dweck a professor at Stanford and author of Mindset.  Dweck used the terminology fixed mind-set and growth mind-set: A Fixed Mind-set being someone who fundamentally believes intelligence is innate or you’re either born with it or you’re not and a Growth Mind-set meaning intelligence can be learned and gained through work and effort.  She performed a study on ~300 5th graders.  First she gave them a list of questions to help her classify them as fixed or growth mind-set.  Then they all worked on a series of progressively more challenging problems. Quoting Dweck “We saw that students in the helpless (fixed mind-set) group blamed their intelligence when they hit failure. What did the students in the mastery-oriented (growth mind-set) group blame? The answer, which surprised us, was they did not blame anything. They didn’t focus on reasons for the failures. In fact, they didn’t even seem to consider themselves to be failing…”

She went on to describe how the children in the growth mind-set were motivated to solve the challenging problems and even developed new strategies. The fixed mind-set group did not perform, or even stopped performing in the face of adversity.

When we say “you are so smart”, or after scoring a goal “you’re so good…or are such a great athlete”, or upon seeing their art project “you are a natural”, we are cultivating the fixed mind-set. We are teaching them that they didn’t need to work for that accomplishment; they were born with the ability.

On the contrary, responses such as “doing your homework every night really paid off” or “all those hours of practice you put in are really showing” or even responding with a question on the art “how did you decide on that color combination?” instill a different mind-set, attitude and motivation to continue to improve.

Here is a great article from the NY Times, written by Po Bronson, How Not to Talk to Your Kids. An excerpt: “When parents praise their children’s intelligence, they believe they are providing the solution to this problem. According to a survey conducted by Columbia University, 85% of American parents think it’s important to tell their kids that they’re smart…But growing body of research strongly suggests it might be the other way around. Giving kids the label of “smart does not prevent them from underperforming. It might actually be causing it.”

Ashley Merryman sums it up as praise what someone does, not who they are in this Primal Blue Print Podcast. She is the co-author of NurtureShock, along with Po, mentioned above.

She also talks briefly about whether its ok to tell girls they are pretty; clearly don’t want to do it a lot, but a sometimes may be ok…interesting!

I’m sure I’ll continue to tell my girls they are beautiful, but maybe not as much:) and of course, need to work on praising effort!

#ManagementStyle – Top 10

“What’s your management style?” Leadership style? Here’s my Top 10:

Be Respectful
There is never any reason to not be respectful. Nobody deserves to be humiliated, embarrassed, insulted, etc… However, this doesn’t mean I don’t have tough conversations and provide real-time feedback of job performance.

Real-time Feedback
My goal is that when I write a performance review or 360 feedback, there are no surprises. You’re doing a disservice to your team, company and yourself if coworkers don’t know where they stand with you. I strive to provide real-time feedback – in the moment. Sometimes if its a tense moment, I might wait a couple of days.  There are lots of great ways to give real-time feedback while still adhering to the previous point. You might ask a question after the meeting “Did that go as you expected?” Start a brainstorm, about how a different approach might have yielded a better outcome.  I like to focus on aligning expectations. I might say “my expectation on this project was X, what was yours?”

Vision and Goals
How do I stay aligned and clear on what we are accomplishing? I’m a fan of creating a vision, organizational objectives and documenting SMART goals and objectives (G&O’s). I facilitate the process, but ultimately its the team members who come up with the content. We usually document our goals on 6-month time horizons and review as a team twice per quarter. Why do we do this?

  • Let others know what we are working on. G&O’s should be shared cross-functionally and with management. Clear and transparent. 
  • Ensure alignment on priorities among team members, other teams and management. 
  • Resource allocation and needs. My boss or someone else wants us to work on something else – ok – but let’s all recognize that another goal is deprioritized. Or provide more resources. I want my team to hold me to this standard as well; so if I ask for something, they can say, “no problem Sean, but let’s talk about what we are going to stop working on”.  That’s fair.  
  • The most important point perhaps: We don’t leave a G&O setting session without consensus. Meaning, all team members need to buy-in. Or maybe we agree its a ‘stretch’ goal. 
Manage Me 
I prefer to be managed. Meaning I don’t want to be micro-managing or reviewing what you do, day in or day out. Include me in meetings and have me review things as needed – a risk-adjusted approach.

Deep Dive
At the risk of completely contradicting the previous point, expect me to deep dive into a lot of areas at least one time. Once I’m confident the process is sound, I probably won’t be back for awhile or ever.

Development 
Ideally every one of my team members has a deep desire to be challenged, develop and grow. I want to hire people that can replace me, and I hope that continues on down the line. I want you to work outside your comfort zone, take risks, make mistakes (course correct fast), be intellectually curious, be a thought leader and audaciously present your ideas in front of audiences.  

Remain Calm in Stressful Situations
I’ll admit, I struggle with this one sometimes, but I’ve been consciously working on it for years. I thrive in crisis situations, but some people do not, and you need to recognize and accept different styles. As a leader, people will look to you as an example and your emotional response sets a tone.

Be Clear and Concise
My profession is documentation intensive. Memos, processes, presentations, etc… I live by the clean cut “Google home-screen” approach to writing and presenting analysis. Only include what is absolutely necessary, and nothing more. I work in finance and we have to perform what are called “account reconciliations”, which basically support the #’s underlying our financial statements. I have a rule: if the CEO can’t pick up the summary page, and within 1 minute  understand the nature of the account and reasonableness of balance, then it needs reworking.

Have a Point, Move Fast and be Efficient
If you schedule a meeting, have a point, a goal and a desired outcome. You looking to share information? – then probably should send an email, likely not a meeting. You need a decision, then schedule a meeting and drive the group to a decision. If you’re going to take up others’ time by way of a meeting, then be considerate and appreciative of their time: send out an agenda, pre-read materials and follow-up the meeting by sending a summary of decisions made and action items.

Manage Your Own Time 
If you’re going to be in late, gone in the afternoon or taking Friday off; I probably don’t need to know…and I’m glad you figured out how to get out for a long weekend. Point here is we know what needs to get done (see G&O’s above), so let’s get it done – remember we already agreed on it. So if you are getting it done, manage your calendar and don’t feel like you need to be constrained by the 9to5, 5-days/ week schedule. 
Be Positive and Have Fun     
We’re in this together. We are humans. Let’s have fun and enjoy what we are doing! And if you’re counting, this is #11. So if you’re not hurting anyone, not breaking any laws/regulations and it makes sense, go ahead and change the rules.  

ACA – Not Letting the House Burn to the Ground

Ever heard of the The South Fulton, Tennessee firefighters? They’re the ones that you may read about every year or so that let houses burn down if the resident didn’t pay the $75 annual fire department fee. The fire trucks will actually drive to the scene to make sure no lives are threatened and the fire is contained, but they will literally watch as the house burns to the ground. Needless to say this upsets a lot of people; if the firemen are on the scene, turn the hose on and help save the house! The logic applied though is that if they put one fire out for someone that did not pay the $75 fee, then nobody would pay the fee.  Payment of the $75 fee is not mandated by law.

Tennessee Fire

There is a lot of news lately about ObamaCare or shall I say more appropriately the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (ACA). This is a politically divisive topic, to say the least. ACA is extremely complex and rules are still being written, but I’d like to comment on one piece of it: the requirement for all citizens to obtain health insurance.

Ever heard of EMTALA – Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act? “It requires hospitals to provide care to anyone needing emergency healthcare treatment regardless of citizenship, legal status or ability to pay. There are no reimbursement provisions.”

By mandating emergency care treatment to the uninsured and not mandating health insurance, as a society we’re basically saying you have to put the fire out, but you don’t have to pay the $75 fee. Economically this model fails. This is not the only reason the health industry in the US is broken, but it’s one of them.

So should everyone get health insurance or should we stop treating the uninsured? Gotta pick one.